mtadkins

[from episode 17 – ‘Valentine‘ ]

The City Council recently moved to name “dance” as the official town language.

This measure has been met with tense debate and raised voices over the past several weeks. Proponents say we need a unified language, as it will save money on municipal signage and documentation — not to mention bring us together as a community.

“The poetry of the human body,” they said, while quickly pulling in their elbows and turning their bowler hats down over their eyes in an obvious tribute to Bob Fosse, “mates physical being with mental necessity; a marriage that brings purpose to our quickly rotting living corpses.”

Opponents say that this move, if voted into law, is discriminatory against the physically handicapped. Also, less than 10% of Night Vale citizens have ever taken a single dance lesson — let alone achieved lifelong mastery of one of the most ethereal and difficult-to-grasp art forms.

One opponent, who asked to remain nameless out of fear of retribution, told us the bill was entirely funded by lobbyists from Cheryl’s Little Princesses Dance Studio.

“Just follow the money,” they said.

Then the anonymous insider’s pupils grew until they eclipsed the whites. Their tongue slid out from their knife gash of a grin, and their hair would not stop graying and growing.

A final vote is expected on Tuesday.

Pretty excited to realize that I still have 38 episodes left of Welcome to Night Vale.